LOSER?

I am 23 and unemployed. I graduated from college 7 months ago. I've been living on my own for almost 3 years. I used to live with my partner in a nice apartment but we were forced to move out 'coz of the flood (Yes, it's still flooded). I am currently crashing in my family's home for almost 3 weeks now and I would very much like to get my life back again, to start all over in a new apartment which I am happy we found but not THAT happy about the whole place. It needs major cleaning and brightening up, too. I've been sitting in front of my laptop for hours now watching Gilmore Girls, playing Plock or Pet Society and browsing through Facebook alternately. And as I do everyday, I think about what I want to do with my life.

There are a lot of things I can say I want to do and I suppose there's plenty of time for it since I am still young but then, it is getting started that's taking so long and proving to be so tough. It's always the beginning that's the hardest. I want to be a part of the world of employment, I really do... I just can't figure out what exactly it is I want to do. I mean, I know I want to write, get my creative juices flowing and all but getting a decent work is so hard to come by these days. I've been sending applications online but one only ever responded and it wasn't exactly the best. I am starting to wonder how much of a loser I am (or at least my resume) for not getting offers or at least interviews. But then maybe I'm also not trying very hard. Then I also think that maybe, the position I've been applying for is just not for me. I get so confused and discouraged sometimes that I stop altogether. Then I have a hard time bouncing back and trying again. I just don't know what to do.

Somehow, I thought things were going to be a bit easier once I graduate but obviously it just got harder. I guess it's just reality... or maybe I could blame the steady decline of the economy for my being unemployed until now. Sometimes I just wish I got a VISA so that I'd have an excuse for not having a job.

This sucks big time.